My belly is full. I’ve slept off the parade, the meals, and the football game. I’ve sat, meditated, and prayed about all the things for which I am thankful, worked to adjust my grumpy list of the things I resent (which I am continually working to eliminate), and puttered about in the yard.
Now what? OMG, it’s the holidays. I generally don’t care too much for the holidays--all the goodwill I can muster for the people-thing goes out the window with any full-on display of family dysfunction. I have enough of my own lurking in my head, I don’t need theirs!
I fear the “daze” of stuff and long for the jollies--and I often work to create this for myself. I know I can’t rely on others to create it for me. What do I want to do? How do I want to feel? Yes, it’s hard to change, and people don’t like it--and it’s still my prerogative.
Yours, too. Think about the next six weeks--all the way into the New Year. What do you want to be the theme of each week? Pick one, and then you can say to others, “I’m so sorry, that doesn’t align with my theme for this week.” Or, “Thanks so much for the invite, that’s right on theme! I’ll be there.”
And as soon as the event lurches, drifts, or slides off-theme, you have every reason to take your leave politely. “Thank you so much, this has been lovely, and I need to check in on someone who’s alone.” That’s a great way to--you look altruistic, and you’re benefitting you and someone else.
Don’t let the daze become a haze that burns your eyes and dulls your heart. Decide on the jollies you want--the theme for each week--and pursue them: even if it turns out different, you showed up as the real you. And that counts.