From Power Over to Power With: The Shift That Heals

There’s a sharp edge to the phrase “power over.” It evokes control, dominance, and the cold calculus that for one to rise, another must fall. For many, it’s the familiar soundtrack of institutional life, classrooms, boardrooms, and even dinner tables: “Do it or else.” It’s a logic born of fear and scarcity—a belief that there’s not enough dignity, success, or relative safety to go around.

I’ve carried the surname Power all my life, and it has taught me to think differently about what that word truly means.

As someone who stands five feet tall and lives with orthopedic disabilities—often invisible, sometimes not—I’ve felt the weight of social hierarchies pressed into my bones. I’ve seen how quickly difference is judged as deficiency, how swiftly we colonize each other with assumptions, labels, and unchecked authority. I’ve experienced the pain of being excluded from projects without conversation, of having my behavior interpreted through a clinical lens instead of a compassionate one. And I know I am not alone.

In trauma-responsive work, we talk often about power with—a relational, collaborative way of being that honors everyone’s wisdom. It’s not a utopian dream; it’s a grounded practice. Power with says: we don’t have to agree on everything, but we can move forward together. You matter. I matter. And in that overlap, something new can emerge.

Power with fosters innovation. It builds cultures where people feel safe enough to bring their whole selves—because survival isn’t on the line. When people are economically secure, emotionally respected, and relationally included, they flourish. And when we flourish, we create. We heal. We lead. This is what makes communities, cities, states and nations great.

“Power over” flattens. “Power with” expands.

We are living in a moment where systems are being asked to evolve. What would it look like to lead with curiosity instead of control? To listen rather than label? To co-create rather than colonize?

It starts, perhaps, with a single question: What might change if we built ‘we with me’ instead of ‘me over we’?

It’s the kind of conversation I love to have. You too? I’d love to help you explore it more! Get a time to connect on my calendar here: https://elizabethpower.com/calendar