A funny form of gratitude.

Here in the USA, we're pretty attached to our right to be victims. I get it-- bragging rights about how victimized they are, and who the "perp" was.

That doesn't impress nearly as much as Japanese "Acceptance Therapy" does.  The long and short of it is spending a good amount of time in formal meditation (yes), followed by a silent detailed writing of a list of all the things one received from the offender.

The next step asks the person to again meditate, and then silently as before, make a list of the problems or trouble they caused the person in question.

This is "arugamama" (acceptance of life as it is).

It is really difficult to move to a different place in life if you haven't simply accepted where you are. No judgment, no drama, simply an assessment... of life as it is.  It is without striving, blaming, or shaming.

It's an interesting form of gratitude, as it requires only acceptance. Acceptance isn't resigning to awfulness, or victimization, it's a simple assertion of "is-ness." From there you can really move in different directions. I can easily give thanks for life as it is when I look at the balance between what I have received and the difficulties I know I have caused.