Do you love me?

This is a fundamental question we all wrestle with. For those of us whose starts were challenging, “Am I loved?” can remain a central question. We look for evidence we recognize based on our expectations. We sometimes forget that the fact and the feeling may be very different, or we have awkward associations that are no longer effective.

Do you love me? is a question about whether or not we belong in this world, have a place at the table, a voice that is heard and can take actions that matter. It’s about connection. To what--now and in the past--are you connected? Physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually?

Here’s my tip for basking in the fact of how beloved I am: take a notebook and list every positive connection you can think of--the memories of foods, meals, sights, sounds, relationships and experiences. Think about three a day, just before you go to bed. Focus on one at a time for 20 seconds. That’s all. Focus on those same three for a month or so, and then add more.

Pay attention to how your body feels--go out and look up images for “where do people feel emotions in their body”--look for the map you see above. Find love--when you think about those positive things, do you feel activated or more energy in the brighter places? Now I can add the feeling. Sometimes you just need to identify and connect the connections.

Yes, you are beloved and loved.

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